3.18.2010

feeling unmotivated...

Today I'm feeling unmotivated about my diet/weight loss. I've been doing this now for quite a few weeks and I am still in the same place I started. So today I had a diet breakdown and had Panda Express and Cadbury Mini Eggs. I had the mindset "damned if I do, damned if I don't... so why not just enjoy life?" But now I am feeling guilty and kind of like crap. Hmm.... it's a sucky thing.

I had the chance to spend yesterday with a new friend. She is a nurse and suggested maybe I get my thyroid checked. (Steph, you also told me to do this before I ever even had the baby.) I guess being overweight and unable to lose weight can sometimes be related to your thyroid. It doesn't necessarily mean that is what my problem is, but it may be something to look into. But then that made me think about another sucky part of my life (and maybe even how sucky the corporate world is in general). I do not have health insurance right now and do you know how expensive it is to even see a Dr? Holy moly, I hate this. By the time all is said and done, just to see the dr. and have my blood tested, I'm looking at paying around $300+. And I have to say, I would be really mad if I paid that and found out nothing was wrong. So I don't know if I will get it checked right away, I'm going to have to think on it I guess.

Anyways, so those are the things that got me down today. I hope that i wake up in the morning full of renewed energy and motivation. I've got to lose weight somehow, I don't know how much longer I can stand being this overweight!


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