Something to think about...

This morning I ate a package of fruit snacks that was 100 calories. Not too bad, right? Wrong. It took me about 18 minutes on the treadmill to burn those 100 calories. Makes me not ever want to eat fruit snacks again. Or any other waste of calories for that matter.

job well done???

So, I think it's fair to say that I had a pretty good day today. Unfortunately, I was not able to do the treadmill, BUT I succeeded at every other personal/cleaning goal and then some. I had a job interview at 11:00am, and had to leave the house by 10:00 to get the baby to a sitter and still have time to get to the interview. Because of that, I had to get in the shower and get ready right when I woke up so that I would have time to do everything. Something about me that I already know is that once I am ready for the day I can just kiss the workout goodbye.

When I got home around 2pm (we stayed at my friends and played after I went to pick the baby up) for some reason I was exhausted! So I was kinda a bum until 5. But then I got in a cleaning mode and deep cleaned both of the bathrooms (tomorrows chore). Note: don't clean shower and big tub unless you expect to take a shower during or right after cleaning. I also got the kitchen cleaned which was todays goal. Front room is picked up and ready to be vacuumed. And I did pretty well on my calories today.

So, overall today went well. Tomorrow I need to hop on the treadmill for 30 minutes before I do anything else!

great day already and it's only 2:30

So... today has been awesome! I feel fantastic for a change, so that is nice!

Last night after I blogged, I made up two charts for myself. One is a personal goal chart and the other is a cleaning chart. I get overwhelmed when I have to clean the whole house, so basically I divided all of the "main" chores onto seperate days of the week so that every week my entire house gets cleaned. And then I also have a few chores that I do everyday. I know that a cleaning chart probably seems unrelated to my weight loss, but if I can organize my house and keep it cleaned for some reason I am better at being goal oriented. Maybe that makes sense. :)

Anyways, about my personal goal chart. I have things like my maximum caloric intake and 30 minutes on the treadmill... but I also have things like getting ready, put on some makeup, and brush teeth after breakfast, lunch, and dinner (I hear you're less likely to eat in between meals if you have freshly brushed teeth) and going on a walk at least 4 times per week. I get in the habit of just staying in my pajamas all day, so having a goal to get ready every day is good for me. And strangely enough when I get ready for the day I feel happier.

So far I have completed all of my daily cleaning duties (besides the ones that I will do right after dinner and before bedtime) and I have done well with all of my personal goals. I feel fantastic. Not only has the day not dragged on, but my house is mostly clean, I've exercised, I've eaten healthy, and I've been ready for hours now. It feels good to FEEL GOOD! :)

Rethinking my priorities...

So, I need to get back on the bandwagon. Goal for tomorrow is to count calories and get on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I am not asking a lot of myself, so, I should be able to do it no problemo. Calorie maximum is 1365. Treadmill pace is 2.8-3 mph for 30 minutes. That is SIMPLE and there is no reason why I can't do it.

I am sick of looking like this... (weight:260)

And ready to look more like this... (weight: approx. 180...and yes, I thought I was FAT then)

I've kind of been in denial. I "feel" like I am living in someone else's body. When I think of myself I think of the me from 4 years ago... and it has been really hard for me to accept that this is who I am physically right now. If I really want to change this I have to accept that this is REAL. When I look in the mirror or at pictures I cannot even believe that it has gotten this out of control. I honestly don't know how to do it, but I have got to try. I can't keep dodging out of pictures and pretend that if there are no pictures of me the way I am now then it never really happened. I want to have family pictures to send out this Christmas and I want to be proud to send them out!

I also need to realize that this will take time and that I can't expect to go from 260 to 180 overnight. I think the biggest reason why I've given up in the past few months is that I don't get that instant satisfaction that I've been looking for. This calorie counting, portion control, and exercising has to be a life change for me, not just a diet. I need to be realistic and expect to lose 10 pounds per month (MAX) and know that that is the healthiest way to lose it. I've got to change my habits and be the person that I see in myself. I'm tired of being disappointed.